Indian Kiss!

Not too long ago Monkey and I were cuddling on the couch and every time I gave her a kiss she wiped it off. So I said..."Fine you don't like those kisses I'll give you an Eskimo kiss!" I showed her what an Eskimo kiss was, and then went on to show her the different ways people can show affection (NOT THE FRENCH KISS - no offense to the French). I showed her a butterfly kiss, the European Kiss (kiss both cheeks - I also taught her to say "Chow Bella" when she does this one), vampire kiss (a soft bite - teaching her to say "I vant to Suck your blood" wasn't as successful as "Chow Bella"), and the raspberry (zerbert - for you Cosby show lovers)kiss (every time someone tries to kiss you blow a raspberry on their lips). I must say that her least favorite was the Raspberry kiss. It was too messy apparently. But her favorite seemed to be the Eskimo kiss. She then asked me "Whats and Eskimo?" I told her they were kind of like Indians that lived where it was really cold. Well....she couldn't get Indian out of her head. So now it has become a ritual that every time we part ways, every night at bed time, and just randomly when ever she feels like it Monkey will yell "INDIAN!" and that means she wants an Indian kiss.....ahem Eskimo kiss.

Post Mom's Weekend....

Last weekend the Good Grief Mom's Group came together for their Semi-Annual retreat of healing and reflection. Although we faced several challenges this weekend, I believe we all walked away with a different perspective and a few less burdens. This weekend for the first time I shared with the whole group. This was difficult for me, but I was glad I did it. Although I am very private about my daughter, I saw the need to share a few memories of her. I wanted to convey that it is OK not to talk about the death of your child. For some it is cathartic to talk about it and share the milestone of recovery with others, but for others it is far more painful to speak of it. For me, I relive it as I say the words and that is too difficult for me. However it was important for other mothers to know that it is OK to hold private your memories and pain. The group is there to offer an ear if you are ever ready, advice if you want it, and loving arms and understanding if you need it. All in all it was a weekend of learning and reflection.

See the Good Grief Blog at http://beckylock.wordpress.com/ If you would like to know more please contact me or the group at this blog or send me a email or message on the Random Wiggles Blog.

Quote of the Day:

"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives."
- William Dement, Newsweek 1959

I like the fact that based on this logic we are all crazy, out of our minds, if you will.

Resilience - It's not just a word it is a choice you make...

"Part of becoming functioning again was accepting what I could not do, much as my father had done as his body had failed him. I could not Bring him back, as much as I tried, as much as I prayed. I could not let him go, which is what people who cared about me wanted. So many people, thinking they were taking care of me, asked if I was over Wade's death yet. I will never be "over" it, I would tell them, and they would look back at me blankly. If I had lost a leg, I would tell them, instead of a boy, no one would ask me if I was "over" it. They would ask how I was learning to walk without my leg. I was learning to walk and to breathe, and to live without Wade. And what I was learning was that it was never going to be the life I had before. Not unlike the wives welcoming home their warrior husbands, I had to adjust to a new reality. Clinging to the old reality with a living Wade was paralyzingly unattainable. As long as I did that I would never learn to walk."

Resilience - Elizabeth Edwards

Above is an excerpt from Elizabeth Edwards Book Resilience. The chapter in her book where she intimately discusses the loss of her son is so touching and poignant. Every feeling she addressed, every thought she thought, and every step she took at some point I have taken or will take. My journey of learning to walk and breath again with out Noelia will never be over, but every day that I smile again and gain strides into the life my family now has is an achievement.

This weekend Marks the semi-annual retreat of the Good Grief Mom's group. We are a group of women united by our children that are no longer on this earth. We meet and cherish our children and each other. We grieve together and we guide one another. There have been many times where I felt my world spinning, and these amazing ladies have been there to pull me back from the ledge with love and an understanding that their pain only reveals. All of our moms are so amazing I am not sure where I would be without all of you. See you tomorrow.

See the Good Grief Blog at http://beckylock.wordpress.com/ If you would like to know more please contact me or the group at the afore mentiuoned blog.

Dinner with ZZ Top

A couple of nights ago The Marine was called out of state to retrieve a jet that was experiencing some mechanical problems. He flew out with all his gear, a small crew and even a spare engine, not knowing what to expect. They arrived and were able to get the "bird" (jet) up and running with-in and hour. That evening The Marine and his men when out to dinner at some hole in the wall bar/restaurant. They sit down, order a round, and look accross the room to see none other than ZZ Top and their band. The Marine was all a Twitter with excitement! He ventured over and talked to the guys. They just ate their wing, drank some beer, and "shot the s%*#" with ZZ Top. Well The Marine really enjoyed talking to Billy Gibbons. They talked about remote control cars and hot rods. Billy Gibbons paid for their tab and meals and even let them take a picture with him. The Marine is the one in the far left Brown Shirt and ....well....you can tell which one is Billy Gibbons. I must say I am a bit jealous...ok a lot jealous, but I am glad that The Marine had a Great night.

Monkey Conversation

Monkey: Mom.....

Monkey: I want a princess middle name like MJ.

Monkey: Why does MJ have a princess name and I don't? (sitting all pouty w/ her arms crossed)

Me: Because your Middle name is #%!%*......

Monkey: No!

Monkey: I want it to be Belle!

Monkey: My new middle name is Bell. You tell Dad.

Me: Baby, that's just not the way it works....

Monkey: No. You tell Dad. (Stated as she wags her pointer finger at me)

Monkey: I have decided (at this point she deems the conversation over and walks away)

Apparently the Monkey Queen....Ahem...princess has spoken and as her mere servant I must obey......NOT!

Although I did find the encounter quite humorous. I can see that I have created a monster with a lot of attitude. Maybe I'll send her to Fathead's house she s a lot stricter than I am. That will be a culture shock for my tyrant!

p.s. MJ is Fathead's daughter.

Quote of the Week:

Whe they discover the Center of the Universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
- Bernard Baily

I think Monkey is one of them.....

My Cuban Sandwich Slider

In my previous Blog I mentioned that I would be making Cuban Sandwiches for my family on the 4th of July.

Well....the question was asked "What in a Cuban Sandwich? I must know."

It is a very basic recipe. I will first give you the traditional recipe for a Cuban sandwich which the Marine's aunt taught me. (Yes, she is 100% Cuban!)

3 thin slices of ham
3 thin slices roast pork hot or cold (I use hot, slow roasted pork)
3 thin slices of Swiss cheese
3 or 4 slices of pickles
1/3 cut Cuban Bread hard crust (or French bread)
mayonnaise
mustard
A sandwich press

Marinate the Pork in the mojo for at least 1 hour (It's best if you do it for 5 or more hours - at least I think it tasted better that way). Roast in oven in a covered pan until meat is completely cooked and brown (must regularly baste pork through out roasting). Put Mayonnaise and mustard on both sides of the bread. Put the Ham, pork, cheese, and pickles on the bread. Place sandwich into press and hold until the bread is a golden brown.
Now.....I have found a way to make a Cuban sandwich with out a sandwich press (although I am still hoping I will get one for a birthday or something....ahem...marine...are you reading this?). I do not have to slave over my oven all day slow roasting and basting, I use a pork that is a bit healthier, and make the sandwich bite-size so my monkey will eat it too.

Now for the disclaimer: Any Cuban worth his/her rice and beans (The Marine included) will tell you that this is not a "real" Cuban sandwich. It does not have the slow roasted smokey flavor, the fatty yumminess that comes with a pork shoulder/butt, and it doesn't have the right bread (it really is all about the bread).

That said it is great for the mom or dad who doesn't want to slave all day in the kitchen, but wants something different.

2 thin slices of ham Smoked Ham (I get mine deli cut - it's worth it!)
a hand full of pulled pork loin hot or cold (I use hot, slow cooked pork )
1 or 2 thin slices of Swiss cheese (I usually use half or 1)
1 or 2 slices of pickles (I use the long sandwich ones and usually only need 1)
small rolls (anything will work, i.e. Hawaiian, yeast, hamburger, french rolls, etc)
mayonnaise
mustard
Crock Pot

I Marinate the Pork in the mojo for at least for 5 or more hours - at least I think it tastes better that way. Place pork loin(s) and 1 to 2 cups of mojo in crock pot and cook over night or until meat is completely cooked and brown . Drain fat/grease/and remaining mojo from Crock about 1 hour prior to serving. Pour about 1 to 2 cups of mojo into crock pot (enough to maintain the flavor and keep things moist) and shred pork (very much like you would do to make pulled pork BBQ). Put Mayonnaise and mustard on both sides of the bread. Put the Ham, pork, cheese, and pickles on the bread. Put sandwich(s) into non-stick frying pan. Use large pot or another frying pan and press on top of slider's, flip sandwich(s) and repeat pressing.



These are great with plantain chips and a sour cream and mojo dip!

Summer Time!

The Green Grass.
The blooming flowers.
The Heritage tomatoes (that for you mommy).
The humidity.
The 100 degree heat index.
The tourists
The beach comes to life.
The sun burns.

These are just a few indications that summer has arrived here on the coast. This summer is already starting out busy. Most weekends there is a BBQ or picnic to attend, not to mention maintain a normal schedule. For 4th of July weekend I have a hoard of family descending one my for Lunch at Paula Dean's restaurant Lady & Sons, a Louisiana Seafood Boil, Fireworks and Cuban sandwiches on Parris Island as we listen to the Marine Corps Band. Then maybe rest.....

Then the swim lessons begin. Every day for 2 months Monkey will have swim lessons on base. This means mommy will have to use her lunch break to pick Monkey up from Pre-school, go to swim class, turn around dry her and dress her and take her back to school and get back to work. By the time the swim class ends, It will be Monkey's Birthday and then Monkey will be starting Kindergarten. Oh dear.....this is the last summer my baby is still.....well....a baby. Wow, time sure does Fly.

This week over at Sprite’s Keeper: Spin Cycle, the topic is Summer Summer Summer Time! If you want to spin too, just start writing - don't forget to let Jen know over there.

Toyota.......Ford

When the Marine and I started dating, we dated long distance. As our relationship progressed and we decided that we were in love, we would end our conversations with "I love you." (as most couples typically do) Often when the marine would talk to me in the presence of his men he would get very quiet when it came time to say...."I love you," almost as if he was a little embarrassed. We always had an ongoing argument over the better car...Toyota (which I thought were better) and Ford (which he insisted were superior). One night instead of "I love you" he said "Toyota" and in exchange I conceded "Ford." For a long time, we would tell each other "Toyota" or "Ford" on pace of the simple phrase "I love you." Eventually, the Marine stopped caring what his men thought and he would tell me he loved me no matter who was around. But occasionally when ever he is deployed I will send him a post card with only FORD in large letters written on it, for all to see. He says he gets some strange looks when he picks up his mail, but he knows what it means. It's not the words, but the meaning behind the words.

This week over at Sprite’s Keeper: Spin Cycle, the topic is pets. If you want to spin too, just start writing - don't forget to let Jen know over there.

Batman is really...Catman?

Recently the Marine rescued a helpless kitten from his men at work. He overheard far too much enthusiasm over what would happen if you stuck a cat in a microwave....so he intervened and made them hand over the (at the time 4 week old) kitten. He brought the all black with blue eyes fur ball home, much to Monkey's delight, and we acquired another cat. We already have a 6 year old cat named Twitch who does not like the new addition to the family.
At first the kitten was very weak and slept a lot. We got him into the vet right away for shots and verification that it was a boy (which they still can't be 100% sure until he is at least 8 weeks). we cleaned him, clipped his claws, and fed him Kitten formula (who knew!).
I am a strong believer in waiting till your pets personality emerges before you name them. So for the first few weeks we called him "lil kitty." As 'lil kitty' grew stronger his personalty developed and I discovered that this cat likes to roll on his back to play/fight/cuddle/etc. When he is in play or fight mode is tiny little black smushed face (we think he might have a little Siamese in him)looks like a bats face (ugly picture right). We also discovered that this cat can jump! at a mere six weeks and still a bit underweight the cat can jump from the floor onto the bed and onto a few other high spots (leaping tall building sound like some caped crusader you know?). he likes to hide and snuggle into dark cave like places (under stuff! ya can't see him under and in there! also like a bat!). There fore the name Batman seemed like a logical name for this rat like creature who attacks my ankles from unsuspecting places. We have also discovered he is just plain psycho! He will attack anything that moves and seems to have a serious problem with the flowers on my bedspread. Imagine if you will.....It is 3 am and you are peacefully sleeping in your bed and suddenly you hear a tiny bell quickly followed by feeling tiny sharp teeth biting and attacking you all over. Only it isn't you...it is the 20 flowers that are covering your rear as a tiny rat attacks them. Kick him off the bed you say.....no Batman's skills are far to smart for that he merely attacks your hand and clings! Because Batman is so dark it is actually hard to get any pictures of this cat that come out, so I will add them this weekend, so that you all can enjoy seeing my Super Psycho Bat Cat.
This week over at Sprite’s Keeper: Spin Cycle, the topic is pets. If you want to spin too, just start writing - don't forget to let Jen know over there.

Gone so long.....Probably forgotten

Hello Friends and Foes,

It has been a long time since I update my Random to match my wiggles. In fact, I have been gone so long I have certainly been forgotten. So I am going to write one big fat blog to update you on everything we have been up to.

Here goes....

About 1.5 months ago the Marine returned from Iraq. Yeah! Big OORAH all around! Life is Pleasent in the Random Wiggles home. The marine complained about the lack of yard work I did while he was MIA (deployed), and I replonded to that by buying him a bagged mulching attachment for the riding lawnmower. Complaints have ceased.....

We went on vacation to Disney World! Yeah!! And we stayed at the Animal Kindom Resort. We did the whole five day park hopper pass and took out time at all the parks. If you ever get a chance to stay at the Animal Kingdom Resort...ABSOLUTELY DO IT! It is the cooles thing in the world to wak up in the morning and go out on your balcony and watch a Giraffe, Zebra, strange birds, etc eat their breakfast while you eat yours. Very cool. Plus the resort had a great water slide in the pool and cool activities for all ages. I should be on their comercial. It really did make me want to go work at disney. They had random people around the park tat it seemed like their only job was to give stickers out to kids! Well hell! forget givin stickers out at Wal-Mart...Hand over the Micky ears! The Monkey loved everything we did! I don't think there was a princess that we missed a picture with or at least didn't try to get one. We even had dinner with the princesses! I will blog separately about specifics. In fact by the time I'm done - ur gona be sick of Disney.

We also spent some time at Cocoa beach. There is this quaint mom & pop hotel that we always stay at that is run by a couple of old hippies. It is great! Enjoyed time on the beach and at the parks, we had the best of both worlds. Monkey even got to spend a couple of nights with my parents and spending time with Grandma is like Heaven on Earth for Monkey.

We then returned from our great vacation (the first we have ever had I might add) and went back to work. I have been buried in deadline, student paperwork, and advisement appointments, ever since. This is the first I have truly been able to surface.

Oh....I can't have some water?.........NO!

As an advisor and recruiter for The University of South Carolina on a military installation, my office is situated amongst other university offices and classrooms. Often the Base provides "leadership and responsibility training" for it's civilian employees. It's their way of making sure you know how to act on a military base and understand military protocol. Because my building is a very old one the water has turned a lovely shade of orange and I wouldn't drink it if my life depended on it. Due to the dirty water, I keep bottled water regularly stocked in my office (for myself).

Now that you have the background....

On one particularly ordinary day a class was being conducted in the room next to my office. That morning I brought in a new case of bottled water to replenish my supply. I placed it on my spare desk until I got logged in and had checked my messages (a bad choice on my part). I proceeded to work on some paperwork and get some things squared away. While on a phone call from a student the class happened to let out for a break. Occasionally in the past students would wonder in and ask questions. I have even had a few ask for water, at which time I referred them to the education office's water cooler and to the vending machines. However on this occasion, a brazen not so young woman walked into my office (talking on her cell phone). Walked right over to my plastic covered case of water bottles and proceeded to pull the plastic off and take a bottle out. I inquired "excuse me....can I help you?" "Oh....I can't have some water?" (proper english?)was her reply as she pulled my bottle out of the case. "Well, no.....that water is for my personal use it is not for the students in the classes, the university does not provide it for me." I explained. "It's just one damn bottle!". she exclaimed. "True" I replied, "but if I provide you with water, how can I discriminate from the next person who asks for free water, when there is a water cooler down the hall and a vending machine just outside the door." Now maybe I am selfish and a miserly Bitch, but I do believe in the common courtesy of asking before taking something that is not yours. At this point the (Insert unkind word here) lady inquired if she were interested in taking classes with USC, if I would then give her water as a marketing tool. I politely said "No....that's why I have the twizzlers on display not the water, help yourself to one of those." I then asked if she really was interested in college, and she stated "Fuck no! I go to Webster...so ha ha" as she waived her nasty finger in my face. Thankfully, she chose that moment to exit my office, because I was liable to throw the bottle at her. As she exited, she said to the person on the other end of the cell phone (yes! she was still on the phone!) "That stupid Bitch wouldn't give me my water!"

I must say, I was completely shocked at first, then rather amused. I decided to wander down the hall (after I put the water away) to share my new experience with my co-workers (who had equally horrifying experiences with this old hag and others). As the Education Director listened, it seemed my water debacle became the straw that broke the camels back and the it was brought to the training supervisor's attention. The ignorant woman was given a final warning, and encouraged to apologize (it has not happened, but when ever she is over here in my building, she sure is polite).

Moral to the story that turned out to a lot longer and annoying than I originally thought it would be.....Ask before you take!

I want an Enema!

I happen to be one of those fortunate people who live near a Drive-In Movie Theater. We used to go all the time before we moved from here, but now that we are back we are attempting to re-launch the tradition. This past weekend, the Marine and I decided to take the monkey to the Drive-in to see Monsters Vs. Aliens and Hotel for Dogs (a double feature!). we always try to make the drive-in as fun and comfortable as possible when we go. We take a bunch of pillows, put an egg crate in the back of the SUV, lay down all the seats and pop the back door. It is great! well....while we are waiting in the drive-in drive-thru to pay at the window and enter the drive-in, the building has a bunch of different candy and sayings painted on it. Monkey looks over and sees those dancing M&M's painted on the walls, and screams at the top of her lungs....."Mommy! I want an Enema! I want one of those! Can I have an enema pleeeeeeeze!" At this point the Marine and I are laughing so hard we can't answer her, much less explain the difference between and enema and an M&M. So I handed over the M&M bag I had purchased earlier that week for this occasion (They are so much cheaper at the store than at the movies!!!). I decided not to correct her, brcause....well.....I will never quite look at M&M candies the same again and to be quite honest, I want to see if she will say it again. maybe next time I'll luck out and she'll say it in public while she is w/ the Marine (he embarrasses far more easily than the Monkey and I do...it's kinda funny). So, for those of you chocoholic's out there.....Have you had your Enema today?

Quote of the week:

"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it's old enough to know better."

- Unknown

Every day I live and learn. I think that as a whole there are some lessons that are hard to compartmentalize, therefore we continue to make the same mistakes repeatedly. So maybe we really don't know better......Yet history shows that given enough time it can, does, and will repeat it's self often to the detriment of the human race. I am forgiving of mistakes, I just wish that our race as a whole were more kinder, more willing to learn, and more open to change. I know I wish this of myself. Then maybe then I really would know better.

The Marines Have Landed

The Marines have arrived! I am especially happy that The Marine in particular arrived on Tuesday! The Home coming was wonderful! Monkey has not been able to let The Marine go since she laid eyes on him. Mommy has disappeared into oblivion....she only has eyes for her Daddy. It has been wonderful and such a relief to have him home safe and sound! I have been slightly out of touch lately in preparation and in enjoyment. I hope to be back in comission very soon, but I am enjoying my time with me hunny!

I've been called out....

Recently I posted a quote:
"The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues."
- Elizabeth Taylor

Definition: Vice is a practice or habit considered immoral, depraved, and/or degrading in the associated society. In more minor usage, vice can refer to a fault, a defect, an infirmity or merely a bad habit.

I mentioned that I do not really have any vices. When I wrote this....well...I had forgotten about my mild shoe fettish, scarf fettish, and minor addiction to food porn (just kidding Captain!). Fat Head was kind enough to point out my vices to me.
So here they all are:
shoes - Got to have them!
Scarves - A recent favorite
chocolate - but not as much as it used to be suprisingly
80's music - can't help myself
kids in overalls - it just makes me feel all warm and cozy
strawberry picking in spring - best Strawberrys ever, Monkey agrees!
Royal Violets - love the smell, Monkey and I wear it daily (it's really Monkey's perfume - I just steal it)
Eggs and grits w/ bacon bits - favorite breakfast
sarcasm - it gives me great enjoyment
Paranoia - the voices in my head tell me terrible things (lol)
snobbery - at least according to Steel Boobs and Fat head
Chatty - I like to out talk the voices in my head to anyone who will listen
easily distracted - like a cat on cat nip


Thats all I can think of right now. But I'll open it up to anyone who can think of any more of my vices or would like to volunteer a few of their own.

Credit where Credit is due....

I would like to take a moment to give credit where credit is due. For those of you who enjoy my blog, its back ground and the stuff on it. I must direct some of the credit to http://cutestblogontheblock.blogspot.com/ where I borrow my backgrounds from and to my sister (Fathead) who maintains my blog. Any time there are issues, I want to change my background, or she notices a problem she "hacks my bog" and fixes it for me. That said, it really isn't hacking when she knows the pass word, but none the less she takes care of all of that for me. You should check her out at Morgan Madness http://morganrnl.blogspot.com/. She creates her own backgrounds, and I have to say her blog is the most creative I have ever seen fat head. I am so proud of her.

Mom's Weekend

This past weekend was a great weekend with my Mom's Group. There were highs and there were lows, but there always are. We had three new moms this weekend. All three lovely ladies. Two of them, had lost little girls too. I guess my baby girl isn't the only one amongst all boys anymore. Also, two of the new ladies loss' were within the last few months. I am so proud of their courage to come to our group. I hope they found healing, as I did my first time. But I was not as strong as they are; it took me a year before I could go to the beach house, and even then I almost backed out. Every trip there I find myself in a new place in my grieving. Sometimes I am yards ahead and doing well and others it is like I am back in the first year again. It is always two steps forward and three steps back. I felt good this trip, and because I was only able to go for the day on Saturday (I can't leave Monkey for that long when The Marine is away), I also couldn't allow myself to open up and explore some of those wounds. I know maybe I didn't allow myself to get too close to some of the ladies this weekend, but it wasn't for lack of wanting to know them. It was more out of self preservation, it is too hard to go home to Monkey at the end of the day with a bleeding heart. Luckily no one mom is at the same place at any given time. So even though I wasn't able to be at the level of opening up and grief and consolation. There are so many women in the group that were able to be there for these ladies. These ladies helped me and have been there time and time again, just like we will be there for these ladies. My family, in particular my mom and Fat head (couldn't have gotten this far with out her handling the stuff I couldn't) have been there no matter what, but these ladies offer an understanding in a different way. I have never told the story of the day my daughter died, and I probably never will. But that is OK, I don't have to. I am loved and welcomed and so is my baby girl. In our group, as we all get to know one another we receive a Nick-Name (our lame attempt at some sort of Hazing). Every time we meet we can never remember the names that have been issued, and some...Whom shall remain nameless (you know who you are Mademoiselle Pepe Le Pew) didn't like their name and had to change it. So My Nick-name is Mojo Momma. I was named this because at every moms retreat the ladies insist I make Cuban sandwiches. Well on Saturday I couldn't get the bottle of MOJO (Latin marinade) open for the pork. So basically I couldn't get my mojo on.............lol................is this thing on?...............guess you had to be there. Bebe would confirm that this was very funny, in fact on the floor giggling funny. However, that is how my nick name came to be. Lots of love to my Mom's group, see you in September!

Quote of the Day:

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

- Elizabeth Taylor

I must admit. I have found that although I do not have any vices (at least none that I am aware of) and no addictions (other than chocolate), I do find that I can often be annoying (atleast depending on the subject and who I am annoying - mostly The Marine). I think it's a fair statement.

Spin Cycle: Change

As a Marine wife change is a way of life for me. I am certain that any/all military wives can commiserate and will agree that change is part of the nomadic life style of a military family. At a moments notice you must be willing to be capable of dropping everything to follow orders, relocate, and/or separate from family for an unspecified amount of time. I'm not just talking about what The Marine must do. As a spouse I too have to follow his Command's orders (although they can't cuss and yell at me if I don't - but they can make The Marines life hell). Although I do not have a contract with the Marine Corps, I do have a contract with The Marine. This contract means I support him and his career. So the topic is change......well.......personally I do not mind change as long as I have a little control. With every Duty station and new home. I try to make sure that certain things remain the same. I usually try to make sure Monkey's room is immediately set up, so there is little change for her. I make sure that the family rituals do not change. Such as bed times remain the same at all times in all places unless there are special circumstances. Because our life changes so much and we can't control it, we try to keep change to a minimum on the things that we can control. Once furniture is in place, I hate moving it. I always paint and decorate with the same colors in each destination, and I often even try to keep with the same qualities in a home. These are all changes within my control.


Change is not always bad, it's just that when you have a lot of it constantly you tend hate change.

Mom! Can I pee in the Shower?!

So...... I am attempting to get Monkey to the point where she can bathe herself. Last night she was taking a shower and this is the conversation that ensued.....Monkey: Mom! Mommy! Momma!

Me: What!

Monkey: I have to pee! (everything was said with such drama and a little whining)

Me: So pee! (I couldn't help but imitate her screechy/whiny voice)

The curtain is whipped open....the monkey (standing there buck naked) cocks a hip and looks at me all while rolling her eyes at the same time (she is 4 going on 14).

Monkey: Mom...... (said very dramatically - emphasizing that mom clearly is stupid)

Monkey: Daddy said we don't pee in the bath tub.

Me: Well that is true, when we are taking a bath we don't go pee pee in the water. But if we are in the shower, it is ok, because our pee pee can go down the drain. Just make sure you do not pee on your bath toys or wash cloth.

Monkey: Sigh....(a big sigh that includes her shifting to the other hip and rolling her eyes at me again.

Monkey: Are you sure?

Me: go ahead! (I left the bathroom)

5 minutes later....

Monkey: Mom!

Me: what!

Monkey: Can I pee in the shower now!

Me: Yes....you could have done it ten minutes ago! (the great thing about potty trained girls is that they can hold it!)

Monkey: Um...Mom!

Me: What now?

Monkey: I think I peed on Ariel's head...giggle, giggle

Me: Well wash her hair!

It's all fun and games till someones head gets peed on.

Mom’s Who Lost Children / Good Grief

“Mom’s Who Lost Children/Good Grief”, began in 2003, and is a gathering for mother’s who have given back to God, one or more of their children in the past several years. We gather together for a time of healing, held in a safe and secure atmosphere. By honoring our children in this way, these Moms have chosen to glorify our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ in a very special way!” – Becky Lock, http://beckylock.wordpress.com

Becky is the founder and host of this group of women who come together to celebrate the children that they have lost. This weekend will be my third time with this wonderful group of ladies. Almost three years ago my youngest died. My world fell apart, and I can say with certainty there are times and moments in the past two years that I simply just do not recall, because I just shut down. However, I find that I finally feel as though a piece of my broken heart has healed a little. I do not believe that my family or I will ever fully recover from losing our little one. Monkey still misses Sissy every day. The Marine prefers not to talk about it, and as for myself I still cry myself to sleep most nights. But sometimes, there is a peace. I don’t know where it came from or when my heart healed enough to feel it, but I am slowly getting to a place where I feel like it is ok to be happy again.

I say all of this because this wonderful group has contributed to me finding this healing. These women are from all different walks of life, cities, and states. We share one bond, loving and losing our children to illness, accident, murder, or suicide.

If you have lost a child or know someone who has lost a child, the grieving process is excruciating. And no one person grieves the same or in the same time. I have found that for me it helped to be around a group of people that did not judge; that understood my loss, and even if they didn’t understand, they didn’t pretend, they just loved me and offered me a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. You do not have to tell your story, with these women, I didn’t at first. You can just be there and relish in the calm and loving atmosphere. That is what is so secure about Mom’s Weekend.

If you are interested in learning more about this group please let me know.

Quote of the week:

In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.

- Andre Maurois

They do say opposites attract. That is the case with The Marine and I and although I hate to admit it in writing....I have read and enjoyed my fair share of cheesy easy reading romance novels. There is just something about a book that just doesn't take a lot of brain cells to process. Can the same be said for those we choose to love? I think that's a blog for a different day.

Valentine Grinch

I am the Valentine Grinch. Yes this passed weekend was valentines Day...the celebrated day of love. Gag!!! This year I am the Valentines Grinch. Why you ask? Because my only Valentines was Monkey. Oh... have no fear. I did the Valentines party at monkeys school (I even wore red!). I brought cookies and helped all the little kids pass their valentines. I got Monkey her regular Valentines Basket (she gets a basket for most every holiday - kind of like a Easter basket for every holiday). We told The Marine "Happy Valentines!" when he called. But all of this was done half-hearted. As I passed out cookies to each of Monkeys class mates I almost wanted to say to each one " Bah-hum-hart" are something equally Scroogy. But I didn't. That is why I couldn't bring myself to blog about love. My valentine is thousands of miles away, and to be quite honest he completely forgot about valentines until he called. Do I blame him? No....he has far more important things on his mind than a Hallmark Holiday. So This is my Valentines Hate Blog. However, this time next year, I hope to be able to do a Valentines Love Blog.

The Greatest Show on Earth?

Last week I took monkey to the Circus, Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Baily Circus to be exact. We had a wonderful time. We ate hot dogs and hamburgers, popcorn, and cotton candy. We were fortunate enough to have a front row seat, and so we got to see everything! However, although the show was great and we truly enjoyed ourselves. The clowns were hysterical. Monkey particularly enjoyed the acrobats and elephants. We got a silly hat and a red nose. I couldn't help but be a little disappointed. You see as a child my parents took Fathead and I to see Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Baily Circus (RB&BB). It was this amazing three Ring circus with lions, tigers, bears (OH MY!), dogs, elephants, horses, clowns, presenters, acrobats, fire works, etc. My point is there were so many performers, so many acts, that it was almost hard to keep up with it all. The circus I went to was a single ring, the stands were not full, and there were maybe 20 performers, mostly same people in different acts. Again, I am not complaining.....in fact I kind of liked the intimacy of the smaller circus. But I can't help but ask, Has the bad economy hit the circus too? I must say that the circus has been around for hundreds of years in some form, and RB&BB lasted through the last major depression. I hope for the sake of our children it lasts another hundred years. Maybe one day Monkey will be able to take her own marmoset to the an RB&BB circus.

I have included pictures!!!!

Quote of the Week:

The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.

- Henry Kissinger

Isn't it funny how, when we run out of excuses, ideas, options the path is suddenly clear what we must do. Whether we like it or not, Nothing left to dispute. Life has a way of doing this kind of stuff to us....at least it does to me.

Quote of the Week:

Sorry this week's quote is a little late. The monkey has been sick, so email, blogging, and face book were put away for a bit. She is better and I am back!

"My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything - even if you have no clue what you're doing."

- Jessica Alba

I must say that I agree with this statement. In fact I have been "confident" in my Fake-it till you Make-it abilities for years (Don't tell the Marine.....Just kidding). Someone once said to me, "You always look so nice and put together, do you ever have an off day?" I simply said, (And those close to me can attest to this) I have off days all the time, but as long as I get up and make myself look good (as good as God intended that is). Maybe...Just maybe the rest will follow suit. Besides if I have learned nothing else in the last couple years. If you do not have confidence in yourself, NO ONE will.

Quote of the week:

I often feel sorry for people who don't read good books; they are missing a chance to lead an extra life.
-Scott Corbett Never

I must agree. I love reading and taking the fanciful journey in my imagination that I am able to endeavor through a book. I must admit I don't always read what many scholars would consider quality literature. However, whether the book and characters are rich and deep, soft and light, or deranged and obscure. Each book touches on a need in my soul to escape through fantasy. So find a good book....be it Harlequin or Shakespeare and take some time to enjoy the diversion.

Paranoia wins again!

I would like to start this blog by saying I am a paranoid mom. If you are close to me, you know this is true and you know why. When I went back to work, I found that the separation from my monkey was very difficult for me. While monkey was thrilled and was pushing me out the door the first day, I was in tears and begging for 3rd and 4th hugs and kisses (I must admit that this behavior continued far beyond the first week or two). I eventually was able to let go in the mornings, because I discovered I could get my fix by going to the preschool on my lunch break (her nap time) and sitting next to her mat and petting and stroking her hair while she slept. In my mind, I was not disturbing her day and I was still able to have that clinginess I so needed. Well…..My husband discovered that I was doing this and was not happy (I wasn’t happy with her teacher who told him – he didn’t want Monkey to be a clingy kid). He then issued strict orders for the nap time visits to stop (typical Marine – in fact I think I shall start referring to him as “The Marine”). I started to slowly taper myself off. However, much to The Marine's pleasure, I shortly thereafter got a new job where I was not able to visit Monkey anymore. Cold Turkey! Over time I was ok with this. Well, now we have moved and I have another different job. No, I do not do nap time visits anymore. Although… I easily could (haha… I can flex my self restraint muscle!). You see where I work, my office just happens to overlook my monkey’s preschool and play ground. I like the fact that I am merely a few feet away and it is a relief to my paranoid nature. Every day at varying times a police/fire/ambulance siren will echo across the base. I jump to my feet and run to my window to verify that these vehicles are not going to the preschool (I told you I was paranoid!). Every day until today they have sped right passed. Well today, I hear the sirens, and I walk to the window, and I watch as an ambulance, then a fire truck, then another fire truck, and four police cars pull up in front of my child’s preschool. So you may ask…. what did you do? Well, I figured (in that split second) if there was an emergency they either would not be answering the phones or they would be using them to make the proper calls to all the authorities and parents. So I grabbed my coat and I ran (more like sprinted) down the hall, down the stairs, across the street, into the school, down the hall (Monkey’s class is the last one at the back of the school – and yes I am still sprinting, and getting a lot of strange looks). I get to the class……and …….there sits my beautiful monkey coloring (I should say scribbling) a lovely picture. I promptly turn around and walk down the hall and back to my office (still getting strange looks). The paranoia wins again.
I would also like to add, especially after reading The Stiletto Mom’s blog (http://www.thestilettomom.com/), that I appreciate these men & women. I know that their intention is to keep people safe.

Comando Again!.......Sort of…..

Every morning after wrestling with my monkey (sounds kind of naughty doesn’t it…get your mind out of the gutter!) to get her dressed, teeth & hair brushed and all around ready for school. We Pass the “NERMAID!” (see previous posts for explanation) and I drop off monkey and go to the gym for an hour to 2 hours (depending on how long the monkey vs. mom wrestle match took – p.s. if I only get an hour at the gym, Monkey won). I run (no…no one chases me), I lift weights (no….still no sign of the elusive six pack in the mirror….who am I kidding there is no sign of a pack of anything other than rolls and curves). I shower and change for work at the gym, and then go to my office and pretend to be busy all day. The problem lies somewhere between morning prep. (Done the night before) and getting dressed the next morning after my workout. At least once a month I forget to pack my Bra! Sorry for all of you if this is TMI. Now luckily I am one of those neurotic people who wear a tank top under everything even in 100 degree weather. Yet still I go about my day commando on the top! I could easily chalk this up to me being absent minded. But it seems that not only am I “absent minded,” but I am incapable of learning from my mistakes! You see this is not the 1st time this has happened. It isn’t even the 5th, I believe we are getting closer to the double digits on how many times I have inadvertently allowed myself to freely nip in the wind. I can’t really call my bralessness (I know it’s not a word – it just sounds good) going commando. I am looking for a replacement word for booby commando and possibly some clinical help for this Freudian slip that keeps getting the best of my twin peaks.

Quote of the Week:

In the defense of our nation, a president must be a clear-eyed realist. There are limits to the smiles and scowls of diplomacy. Armies and missiles are not stopped by stiff notes of condemnation. They are held in check by strength and purpose and the promise of swift punishment.

- George W. Bush , speech, November 19, 1999

I felt that it would be nice to have a few final words from our soon to be Former President Bush. I completely agree with the above statement. And like many of you I hope that Obama and any other future President holds some or all of the characteristics and understanding listed above. I truly wish that this war could end with the writing of a note and a harsh scowl, but since pigs don't fly and hell hasn't frozen yet, we can all hope for the best and must prepare for anything.

Farewell President Bush and Welcome President Obama.

"NERMAID!!!!!"

Every morning on our commute to work & School we pass a sculpture (one of many around our town – see http://www.beaufortcountyarts.com/merweb/merchart.html). My monkey is completely fascinated by this divine creature, and any others we see about town. Every morning as we roll passed one of these lovely sirens my daughter yells at the top of her lungs “NERMAID!” (yes she says it with a “N” – and I don’t have the heart to correct her…it's just plain cute) It is as if it is a surprise every time. I tell you this because, the mermaid does not ever move, she does not hide behind a tree and scream at oncoming traffic “BOO!” She never changes color or even her hairstyle. Yet the obsession continues. So much so, that my monkey insisted that her Halloween costume have an aqua tail to match (Yes…she was a Nermaid for Halloween). So mommy brushed off her sewing skills, and with a little help from a friend I was able to hand and machine sew a mermaid costume; complete with fish tangled in seaweed and pearls. Fortunately for me, Monkey never noticed that her and her obsession did not completely match. However, she did decide that now that she had the proper attire she could now meet her lovely goddess. So, on Halloween we introduced ourselves to this Mermaid that had captured our attention and heart. Monkey was very excited. We posed and took pictures; Monkey even had a full blown conversation with this magnificent stone creature. When we were done, as we walked back to the car I noticed that Monkey was a little disappointed. When asked what was wrong her only reply was…. “I didn’t get to ride her in the water.” Now was when I had a decision to make. You see, it was clear to me that this Nermaid was still very real to my daughter in the sense that she could swim in the ocean, sing beautiful songs, and could enchant any sailor (or in my case, my daughter) who came by. I did not want to ruin this for my daughter. So I simply said that Nermaids can’t swim when anyone is watching or else they would lose all their magical powers. So we can only visit with the mermaids. This seemed to help a little, but what sealed the deal was when I said… “How about we visit some different Nermaids, and get pictures with them?” You would have thought I had offered to give her a lifetime supply of princess dresses and candy. So now it is our mission to visit every Nermaid we can find, and get pictures with every one. I have included a couple of pictures of the Mermaid we have had the opportunity of visiting with. I must say that, although I could go with out the shrilling “NERMAID!” every morning; I am glad for the mermaids. They have opened the world of Art in to my daughter’s life in a way that no museum ever could.

Site Problems

Ok.......... For all who are having trouble with my site...sorry. I have no idea how to fix it, and I haven't had any indications of an problem. So please be patient and thanks for the support.

Where's my cell phone moment.....

Have you ever been talking on you phone and suddenly stopped and thought (or said out loud - as I did to my sister (other Fathead) on the other end of the line) "crap! where is my cell...I think I left it in the truck...Crap!"

At that moment my sister kindly pointed out that I had been talking to her on my cell phone for the last half hour as I made the commute

to work.

It was just one of those days....

I was reminded of the random act of stupidity (which happen on an almost daily basis) while talking to my sister this morning. I called her at work, and through out the course of the conversation a phone rang in the background of her office. I asked her "Do you need to get you phone," and at this moment she, again very kindly (as she laughed at me) reminded me that we were currently talking on it, and that would mean that it couldn't possibly be her phone ringing. Isn't Other fathead sweet?......I wish you could have heard her sweet little cackle and sarcasm as she kindly reminded me of my faux pas.

I think we all have those days. Days where even when the glasses are on the top of our head we will search for hours for them, or like me, you will hunt for your phone while you talk to someone and explain to them how you just can't find it. At least I hope we all have these days or else I am a sad...sad...very sad little person. But don't feel sorry for me...you see I will always have my sister to laugh at me and point out the obvious. Thanks sissy! I don't know what I would do without you...wait yes I do! I would still be looking for my phone - but I would not be banned from Wal-mart (or Target - whichever store that was)!

Quote of the week...

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."
- Mark Twain

I think this quote is quite apropos for the current climate out side my window (cold and wet) as well as our nation's current economic climate.

Favorite Utterance

There are so many things in this world to enjoy and be inspired by. Many enjoy poetry, some love jazz, you could even enjoy those pictures that have a picture that you must find with in it - a sail boat or dog or something, maybe a dog on a sail boat (I can never find the picture within - possibly because I am too busy making fun of the people gathered around a random picture squinting and turning their head in a confused sort of manner).

However, I do enjoy quotes. I love to hear those random utterances (Is Utterances a word?). It doesn't matter if the author is famous or not, dead or alive, funny or serious. No matter the subject matter I will enjoy the quote as long as it is appropriate for the situation. Every Monday I find a quote that suits me, the economy, the news, the season, or weather. I write it on my dry erase board for my students to enjoy or ignore - what ever their inclination. So...now that I have expressed my quote diatribe, I am going to share my favorite quote with all of you.

"An Oak struck by lightening heals itself by twisting and bending around the wound: it is still recognizably a tree, it still lives as a tree, it still puts out its leaves and acorns, but its center, hidden deep within the curtain of green, remains empty and splintered where it hasn't been grotesquely scarred over. We are happy the tree hasn't died, and from the proper angel we can look on it and suppose that it is the same tree that is ever was, but it is not and never will be."

This quote is from the book 'The Widow of the South' by Robert Hicks. This was a statement that the main character Carrie McGavock made referring to herself and her own personal tragedies as well as for the multitude of confederate soldiers that lie wounded in her home.

This quote speaks to my heart. This quote also became a mantra for my own personal healing in the face of a tragedy.

That is part of what I like about quotes. There is rarely a hidden meaning they are usually short and straight to the point. I hope that you will share some of your favorite quotes with me and tell me why you like them so much. I plan to share a regular quote with all of you I hope you enjoy them, but even if you don't like a particular quote I would still like to hear why.

New Year

So....Every Year I make a new years resolution. Unfortunately for the last 20 some odd years I have not followed through with one of them. In 2008 my husband deployed and I decided that I wanted to look hot by the time he came home. So my new years resolution is something that began in 2008, but because of recent events I am even more determined to follow through with them. I resolve to eat healthier and get in shape for the well being of myself and my family. You see, recently my husbands father passed away due to complications with diabetes and heart failure. My husbands mother also has diabetes and health problems. I have realized that these are genetic markers for my husband on both sides. My husband has always worked hard to stay fit and trim (it is kind of part of the job description) but I haven't been as supportive as I should, by not staying healthy myself. I realized that not only does my husband carry these genes, but so does Monkey. My husband stays healthy and therefore he is not at risk for many of these problems, but with my bad habits he could be, and these are habits I am passing on to my monkey. These are habits that I learned from my parents, that are from pure laziness, and that are just not acceptable. So, that said, I hope that all of you who make a 2009 resolution are able to stick to it and accomplish your goal and those who don't.....well there is always next year. That is what is so great about the human nature, we can always get back up and start again. Happy New Year to you all!