Paranoia wins again!

I would like to start this blog by saying I am a paranoid mom. If you are close to me, you know this is true and you know why. When I went back to work, I found that the separation from my monkey was very difficult for me. While monkey was thrilled and was pushing me out the door the first day, I was in tears and begging for 3rd and 4th hugs and kisses (I must admit that this behavior continued far beyond the first week or two). I eventually was able to let go in the mornings, because I discovered I could get my fix by going to the preschool on my lunch break (her nap time) and sitting next to her mat and petting and stroking her hair while she slept. In my mind, I was not disturbing her day and I was still able to have that clinginess I so needed. Well…..My husband discovered that I was doing this and was not happy (I wasn’t happy with her teacher who told him – he didn’t want Monkey to be a clingy kid). He then issued strict orders for the nap time visits to stop (typical Marine – in fact I think I shall start referring to him as “The Marine”). I started to slowly taper myself off. However, much to The Marine's pleasure, I shortly thereafter got a new job where I was not able to visit Monkey anymore. Cold Turkey! Over time I was ok with this. Well, now we have moved and I have another different job. No, I do not do nap time visits anymore. Although… I easily could (haha… I can flex my self restraint muscle!). You see where I work, my office just happens to overlook my monkey’s preschool and play ground. I like the fact that I am merely a few feet away and it is a relief to my paranoid nature. Every day at varying times a police/fire/ambulance siren will echo across the base. I jump to my feet and run to my window to verify that these vehicles are not going to the preschool (I told you I was paranoid!). Every day until today they have sped right passed. Well today, I hear the sirens, and I walk to the window, and I watch as an ambulance, then a fire truck, then another fire truck, and four police cars pull up in front of my child’s preschool. So you may ask…. what did you do? Well, I figured (in that split second) if there was an emergency they either would not be answering the phones or they would be using them to make the proper calls to all the authorities and parents. So I grabbed my coat and I ran (more like sprinted) down the hall, down the stairs, across the street, into the school, down the hall (Monkey’s class is the last one at the back of the school – and yes I am still sprinting, and getting a lot of strange looks). I get to the class……and …….there sits my beautiful monkey coloring (I should say scribbling) a lovely picture. I promptly turn around and walk down the hall and back to my office (still getting strange looks). The paranoia wins again.
I would also like to add, especially after reading The Stiletto Mom’s blog (http://www.thestilettomom.com/), that I appreciate these men & women. I know that their intention is to keep people safe.